Change

“(I came here tonight because) when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” - Harry from When Harry Met Sally.

This is the stage of change that I currently find myself in, that impatient sprint towards the new. For clarification, the “somebody” I want to be in a relationship with for the rest of my life is me. The Me that is living authentically and with a career in art. I have been taking steps towards this change but have found the process all consuming and slower than molasses on a cold day. I want to shout at the universe to get a move on already but here I am, treading.

Making a decision to change presents its own obstacles and challenges. One of the hardest things to do is to decide to act. I have found this to be true in my personal and professional life especially when the stakes seem high. All the fear, nerves and possible negative outcomes make my hands shake and cause hesitation. Having already walked through that, it’s smooth sailing but with seemingly no wind.

In a previous life, I was a chemical dependency counselor and taught the Stages of Change created by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente to clients. This Transtheoretical Model focuses on the decision-making process and intentional change of behavior. It’s based on the idea that there are multiple stages in the process of change with specific interventions at each stage. This model was originally developed to help smokers quit but can be applied to variety of challenges. The stages include precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, relapse and maintenance. I have used this process many times in my life when I wanted to change a behavior or do something new. Though all the steps are not applicable all the time, it is a helpful reminder that there is a process..

The stages are also helpful for me to see where I am in the process. If I am still in the preparation stage, then I know it’s unlikely that I will be reaping the rewards any time soon. This awareness helps me readjust my expectations. It makes me slow down, take stock and allow myself a bit of grace. I know I am in the preparation and action stage now but I still want those six pack abs after one month of attending the gym.

I recently shared with my brother, a fellow artist, my frustration around my slow progression. “My name isn’t getting out there fast enough, the classes I am taking are taking too long and I have to keep working my pesky paying job which takes up too much time”, I whine to him. He reminded me that this is a marathon and not a sprint. The only thing that sprinting a marathon will do is burn me out and result in quitting. I am heeding his advice by adding a work/life balance, allowing myself creative time to daydream and relax into the process.

I am also fortunate to have a handful of artist friends who have made a career of their work. Fellow printers, Kim Miller from Tribune Show Print and Heather Moulder from Hatch Show Prints, remind me that all printers smug, goof and swear at their work. Carrie Wright, a silk painter located in Muncie, has shared encouraging word and valuable career experience. A gifted actor and clown, Carmen Nikae, encourages me to slow down by reminding me that slow is fast and sometimes you have to stop, get off the bike to get in the car. Jayme Markus and Shantanu Suman, both gifted designers, have been gracious enough to share their time and experience around graphic design.* I have been lucky to be surrounded by so many talented people and benefited greatly from their wisdom.

No change is instant and it all takes work. The work isn’t just the process of making art but it’s also the emotional work as described above. When it comes to art, art and emotions are so intertwined that it’s easy to fall down an emotional hole and let it affect the product. Doing the emotional work, making space in your brain and giving yourself a break all takes time and energy but are well worth the effort. The effect will be seen on the other side; in the art.

So, this is where I am. Square breathing though my impatience, seeking support and encouragement from fellow artists while I give myself grace. I’m taking opportunities as they come and saying yes to those things that align with my goals. Great things are already happening and I’m excited to share them with you as I move along this path. Follow along on my slow, patient meander that I continue towards my authentic, creative self.

*I know I went a little extra on name dropping but I think it’s important in the art world. We all need to support each other and the work. These are people to follow, purchase work from, go see and be connected with.